I’ve lived a life with regrets. It’s something that’s never openly admitted, or cared for to be shared, but these past few months have shown me how to come around to the idea of my regrets. In the house I was raised in, we frequently joked about the kind of people we were. Strong, independent, and every move made was to benefit us and those we care about most. There were fewer times of sharing with each other how we felt and more about how we were going to advance in our own ways. The way my parents raised my siblings and I is something I take great pride in and can credit every strength to, yet as they somewhat send me into the “New World”, there are a few things that rest unsettled in my past. I regret not taking the time to enjoy some precious moments with friends and family because I was too focused on the big picture. I regret spending more time on my schoolwork than with my family, and not thanking my parents as often as I should have. I regret letting go of the ones I cared about most instead of settling our own differences. Many days were spent fighting for an upper hand when it came to the future of an organization, and I regret not focusing on the youth’s potential instead of my own opportunities. Because when we get down to it, these regrets cause us to miss out on those freedoms to build relationships, or even build ourselves. We just may spend more time worrying about how our actions have affected those around us and forget why we made the decisions in the first place. Have we really been too stubborn to see the big, Big picture?
I came to a point lately in regretting some of the actions and decisions I’ve made in the past, and I won’t deny that something better could have been done. However, these regrets have shown some beauty in the decisions, to turn the regrets into examples of building better future experiences. These regrets have taught me to value not only experiences, but the experience with those around. It truly is okay to call Mom and Dad every now and then about what drives me or instils the fear of God in me, and to always say an extra “I love you”. Losing ones you care about most can show just who will always stand by your side, but how to rebuild those bridges again. While it may be hard to stop focusing on the future, these regrets have taught me to focus on others’ futures as well. The decisions we’ve made shouldn’t boil down to other missed opportunities or relationships, but rather the unique memories and friends we’ve gained along the way. We’ve grown into stronger, wiser people who learn more about right from wrong. It truly is okay to do what may be right for us, because we then have the opportunity to focus on those around us. These regrets shouldn’t just be regrets that may hold us back, but rather push us more to find new successes and make new mistakes. Why let the past hold you back, when the future is full of new and better opportunities?
Always seeking the positives,
Morgan A. Hinz