Monday, January 23, 2023

Time is of the Essence

I have a confession to make. For years I have lied to myself. I bought into an illusion for a majority of my life that I just now recognized as a fraud. With many situations I experience, my mind likes to repeatedly jump to an assumption- that I have all the time in the world. 

Do you ever feel like time flies? Do you ever feel like you blink and it's all over? Time is a weird concept. In the moment it can seem slow, but one moment turns into another and ironically, when you find a moment to look back at all the others, you realize they barged in without knocking and left without saying goodbye. 

In a way I feel abandoned by time. How could it leave me so abruptly? I thought I could count on time. I believed it would be with me forever, at least that is what I told myself. Time failed me. Or did I fail time?

I’ve had to take the hard road to finally admit that I was wrong. I set unrealistic expectations that time couldn’t meet. I should have known better than to comfort myself with the lie that time lasts forever when I know that it does not. But I am scared of time. Time is ruthless. It doesn’t care how you feel. You can ask it to slow down, but it won’t. You can ask for more of it but time leaves your request at the foot of the door it entered into and left from. That is why I lied to myself, because if I could convince myself that I could control time, then time couldn’t control me. 

The hardest thing that I have recently come face to face with is that time doesn’t compromise. Time gives you what it gives you. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no need to attempt bargaining with it. So what do we do with what time is willing to give us?

That very question is what has led me here, currently writing this blog. As I sit here, I am amazed at how fast state office has flown by. Most of our team’s conversations lately have revolved around this topic. All of us are having a hard time comprehending that we are already over halfway done with the year. The moments that haven’t left us yet are already on their way out the door. 

The truth is that everything comes to an end. Everything has an expiration date, everything has a deadline. At the start of state office our deadline seemed so far away, but now I can hear its footsteps approaching our door. I want it to knock, but I know it won’t. I can only hope it says goodbye. 

This is bigger than state office. Our lives have deadlines, and unfortunately time won’t clue you in on when it is set for. At this point, I wouldn’t expect it to. I just know now what I am supposed to do with the time that I am given. Appreciate it. 

Before this year, I used and abused time. It must be so exhausting to give so much of yourself to someone who thinks you have an endless supply of whatever you are offering. When I put myself in the shoes of time, I understand that I am lucky to receive what I do from it. I try my best now not to waste it, to be grateful for it, and to cherish it.

 To whoever is reading this, I hope you can follow in my footsteps and try your best to be wise with how you treat time. But if you choose to keep lying to yourself like I did, just remember that time will find a way to teach you this lesson if you don’t learn it for yourself.  

Live in a way that prepares you for your deadline.

                                                                        Time is of the essence,


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